From “Good Enough” to “How May I Serve:” When Service Becomes a Lifestyle.

We continue the Energy Leadership series with Level 4 Energy.

This Level of Energy has historically been most familiar to me. For much of my life, I mythologized myself, having been raised by a nurse with first-responder DNA and within the framework of the “good Jewish girl” archetype, the codes of Level 4 Energy are deeply woven through my karmic web. When I first took the ELI Assessment in 2013, my Energetic Profile showed that this was my primary Level of Energy (when not under stress), and through the debrief process, I began to understand for the first time that my overuse of Level 4 was responsible for much of the imbalance I was experiencing.

My ELI Assessment Results in October 2013, showing a Primary of Level 4 at 21.1% when not under stress (and default of Level 1 when under stress at 45.6%).

As a reminder, each Level of Energy has a Core Thought, Core Emotion, and Action/Result associated with it. At Level 4, Concern, Compassion, and Service govern our respective thoughts, feelings, and actions (See iPEC’s full Energetic Self-Perception Chart below).

Though I haven’t included sensations in this first graphic, tuning in to the body is a dynamic way to notice which Energy Levels show up and when. For example, I know that when my heart feels as though it’s swelling or literally “going out” to someone, I am experiencing Level 4.

This has been a routine sensation for me for as long as I can remember, which tells me that my compassion for others goes deeper than conditioning. Deeper than trauma-induced conscientiousness. I arrived on this planet with extrasensory receptivity to the feelings of those around me. Though when I reflect back on a childhood report card in which my first-grade teacher wrote, “Rachel is a delight! She is an intelligent, conscientious, responsible, mature young lady who quietly adds a great deal to class on a daily basis. Her sweetness to others is also very special,” I wonder how the recognition for that sweetness helped to shape me. While I do feel most myself when I am safe to offer sweetness so freely to others, for much of my life I also felt shame, guilt, & embarrassment if anger, frustration, stoicism, or objective discernment slipped out. The disappointment or shock in the faces of others when I was anything but sweet was too upsetting for me to bear. So I learned to lean on my resilience instead of setting healthy boundaries. And while I was able to accomplish a great deal in life through these default imprints, my soul eventually grew tired of squeezing to fit into such a tight archetype. It became time to challenge my personal norms.

First-grade report card

I’ve received some beautiful questions and insights recently about the way I’d reduced my use of Level 4 between 2013 & 2017. It was exciting for me to witness folks catching on to the alchemy and language of this modality. As we like to remind our clients, “Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, but it can be transformed,” and we all have the option to transform the ways we direct our Energetic patterns. One of the questions I received was, “Why is it a good thing that you reduced your Compassion?” Great question. And it’s not good. It’s not bad either. It’s just my personal transformation. A separation from the familiar world and initiation into the unknown interplays.  

The familiar world to me consisted of people-pleasing, fawning, coddling, and placing all my value & self-worth in how much I could do for others. How much I could show up for others. How much I could avoid rejection and how much I could cultivate states of feeling accepted by others. I could give with ease, yet receiving made me feel uncomfortable. Selfish even. Feeling as though I carried a weight of indebtedness to others, simply for existing, I offered service & loyalty as my payment.

I remained loyal even when someone’s behaviors conflicted with my own values. I remained loyal to bosses, to culture, to friends, to political parties, to family narratives. Along with loyalty, my gifts of Intuition and Clairsentience informed me of precisely what others wanted or expected from me in any given moment. Out of habit, or maybe conditioning, I fulfilled those expectations. Often to my detriment. And once I became aware of Level 5 Reconciliation, I discovered to everyone’s detriment, because perpetuating the Levels 4/1 interplays on repeat resulted in stagnation for all parties involved.

Many of the patterns I’m describing, such as fawning & coddling, while informed by the Level 4 Heart and Level 6 Intuition, were actually stress reactions governed by Level 1 fear and anxiety from learning at a young age that if I give the people what they seek, I avoid retaliation and persecution. Even my need to be needed was based in Level 1 lack and scarcity, resulting in attachment to the journeys of others. As long as I could help someone else, my existence was valid.

Of course I lacked any conscious awareness around these behaviors, which is why I continued to perpetuate them. Until I began working with my coach in the spring of 2013. Two key moments stand out in my memory as game-changers and paradigm-breakers. One came up during a weekly session in which my goal was to maintain no-contact with an ex. This ex had been experiencing some internal troubles, and the last time I’d seen him, he told me that I was the only person with whom he opened up about his struggle. I’ll never forget his saying, “I can’t talk to my brother about this.” That line hit me in the guts, and my heart went out to him. Later, when my coach asked me what is getting in the way of my no-contact goal, I shared this information with her. She responded, “Well whose responsibility is that?” I froze at first. No one had ever held up such a mirror before. I’d previously been encouraged to be a support for people who were hazardous to my health. Celebrated even for how much I could endure from them and still offer my love and devotion. My ego felt at home accepting such responsibility. When challenged to consider the appropriate agent for this responsibility, the shackles keeping my mind confined fell away. A rush of empowerment and autonomy flooded through my body, and I declared, “Not mine.” And I didn’t stop there. The more I danced with her question, the more possibilities emerged. “That’s his responsibility,” I stated. “I didn’t raise him. He’s not my kid. He’s not my family.” And in the one call, just from clarifying responsibility, I not only broke free from my attachment to my ex’s journey; I also began to recognize how easily my compassion can be manipulated.

I continued working with my coach for another year and a half. Reducing my Level 1, allowing for Level 2, expanding my Level 4 into Levels 5, 6, & 7. And after what I felt had been a sufficient deep dive into self-development, believing I thoroughly knew myself as a human, independently of any relationships, I decided to open my heart to romantic possibilities again. I soon found myself meeting similar iterations from my past, though I held the light of awareness through this spin around the cycle. I witnessed the ways in which the men I was attracting sought my validation. Even some of the men surrounding me at work seemed emotionally dependent on my female colleagues and me, requiring excessive admiration, which now exhausted me. Annoyed by the constant demand for free emotional labor and attention, I spewed out an email to my coach complaining about the insatiable egos of these men. Within my coach’s response was the second game-changing key, liberating me from my Level 4 ego. She wrote, “I don’t know why these men think they need so much coddling. They are strong and capable.” The moment I read those words, “strong and capable,” my lens widened to a brand new perspective. The Level 5 lifted me up and out of stress, providing options I hadn’t known were available before. Instead to feeling overwhelmed and angry about the expectation that I am here to pump tires, I suddenly saw these men as gifted and full of potential. I began to believe in their capacity to internally validate, which freed up space for my energy to be redirected and recirculated more efficiently. Whether the people around me were ready to acclimate to my energetic shifts was another story. Some bridges were burned during the adjustment phase. Though to me, this Level 5 perspective was magick.   

While these specific instances illustrate quantum leaps in consciousness, moment by moment, where I feel these shifts overall is in my Average Resonating Level of Energy or A.R.L. When my A.R.L. was in the Level 3 range, my life was “good enough.” My career, my contribution, my relationships, my health. Convincing myself to settle, I drowned any desire for deeper meaning with alcohol, concerts, and other forms of escapism.

And then one day, I woke up with an ARL in the Level 4 range. Instead of leading a “good enough” life, I chose to start showing up in service. This time with a sharpened sword of discernment, so I no longer expended my Service Energy on capable humans who didn’t need my free emotional labor to solve their own problems. I learned to set healthy boundaries with friends and colleagues, while conveying the message that I believe in them. And I began setting my problem-solving sights on the bigger picture. I asked, “Who actually needs my help? Where is my service truly needed?”

One day as I hustled to work, this question was answered. I was already running late (racing against time: Level 2 adrenaline rush), and as I flew down the steps to the subway platform to board the T, I whizzed by an elderly gentleman attempting to navigate down the stairs while holding onto the rail, his walker, and his Dunkin Donuts coffee, which was spilling with each movement of his shaky hand. As I caught my breath at the platform, I thought, “What am I doing? Go help that man! Who cares if I’m late to work?” So I turned around, casually walked back up the steps and gently asked, “May I help you?” The man smiled and replied, “Yes, thank you!” and handed me his coffee to carry on our way down to the turnstile. I helped him to a bench, handed his coffee back to him, and he let me know he had a handle on things from there. The interaction added about 10 minutes to my morning commute that day, which looking back sounds like nothing. At the time, it felt like life & death. Funny how the perspective of time shifts depending on which Level of Energy we’re embodying.

When I arrived at my desk that day, I couldn’t concentrate on the content of my work. I kept thinking about that man and how I could have missed the opportunity to be of service to someone who legitimately needed my help in that moment. “Does a Fortune 500 Commercial Real Estate Firm really need my service?” I asked myself. “I’m a cog in a machine. Anyone could perform these functions. No heart is required,” I heard my stern inner voice answer with some truth. I spent the day researching different humanitarian crises around the world. Crying for the Water Protectors at Standing Rock, aching to be there in-person to defend the Sacred. And I heard the calm, cool, collected guidance of my soul whisper, “It is time. Your hands are needed elsewhere.”

Catalysts for change are usually infused with conflict as we bounce in & out of the roles of victim, perpetrator, martyr, persecutor. My boss and I certainly perpetuated the act for a month or two before my exit. And then I was out. The golden handcuffs evaporated from my wrists, and my hands were free to serve. I immediately dove headfirst into volunteering with local organizations to help communities heal from the gentrification caused by my former company, as I carried a burden of guilt for how I contributed to the loss of culture throughout Boston neighborhoods. Eventually, my desire to show up in service led to my enrolling in coach training with iPEC. My intention at first was to acquire the skills & tools that my coach used with me, simply so that I would be well-equipped to support the people I love as they uncover their authentic paths. As this seed of intention began to sprout, I realized, “This is it. This is my vocation.” I was shocked that the entrepreneurial path had chosen me. It challenged all my Limiting Beliefs around where payment and finance come from, as up until that point I’d only known receiving paychecks from employers. Though there was no denying this calling. I came here to raise the collective consciousness, and Energy Leadership is my modality.

So back to the question of, “Why is it a good thing” that I reduced my Compassion? I hope what I’ve been able to transmit through this writing is that I’ve actually created more space for overall Compassion. My Level 5 Discernment has helped me to stay in my own lane and set healthy boundaries in situations where I know people are strong & capable and do not benefit from my depriving them of their journeys. My Level 6 Intuition provides the vision and inner faith that reassures me that the Universe will provide if I keep showing up to my passion of purpose, no matter how scary it gets. And my Level 4 Service is reserved for Community, Mother Earth, Humanity at large, Children, Elders, Self-Love, and homies who experience chapters of Level 1 struggle. Holding space for a friend who has just lost a loved one is very different from holding space for a partner or family member who chronically shows up as a victim. I’m sure we all know someone for whom the phrase, “It’s always something” applies. In the past, I would offer so much of my Level 4 Energy to the “it’s always something” people, to the point at which I’d run out. I’d have nothing left to give. As much as this pattern would feed my need to be needed, I knew it was up to me to swing my sword of discernment. To set those boundaries. So I did. And now I have the honor of showing up each week in Service to a greater community and to share from my overflow. Even investing the time and energy to write this blog, knowing no employer is paying me when I complete the assignment, yet trusting that I will be provided for as I follow my calling is born from a belief that this could potentially help someone to understand their own Level 4/Level 1 interplays a bit more. The act of this creation itself is a result of Level 7 passion, while the intention is deeply connected to the heart.  This is my service.

Teaching the 7 Levels of Energy is also rooted within my service, as it’s the modality that has made the most sense to me. That has helped me to radically accept our mantra, “It’s not personal; it’s vibrational.” Though it’s not as popular or Astrology or Human Design, Energy Leadership has been my go-to for over a decade. I feel it offers us control over our attitudes, instead of allowing our attitudes to control us.

If any of my journey with Level 4 Energy has resonated, please do not hesitate to reach out to book an ELI Assessment and Debrief to discover your own energetic interplays. As soon as we shine the light of awareness on these patterns, we have the option to objectively evaluate and choose. We might choose to repeat, or perhaps we choose to evolve. It’s completely up to us. Either way, no judgment. As we say, it’s not personal. It’s vibrational.